


Tomorrow, Today

by nyoungcat0913



Series: Verse'2 [2]
Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Gen, Midlife Crisis, Reflection, everyone gets to that point, just questions about life, life - Freeform, something about quarter life crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 17:44:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11674002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyoungcat0913/pseuds/nyoungcat0913
Summary: All of us get to the point where we become unsure of ourselves. Sometimes the things we used to enjoy, doesn't do it for us anymore. We outgrow so many things in our lives, even our hobbies, our passions, all of it changes. And it's a scary thing, life. The older we get, the more decisions we have to make. And as we grow older, those decisions need to be made by ourselves which is a whole lot scarier.This story is kind of like that. We ask so many questions, maybe we click this and read this story looking for some answers. I do hope though, all of us get the answers we've been looking for.





	Tomorrow, Today

Today is just like every other day. Everyone minded their own business, everyone went on with their lives. I did too. I got a job that I've wanted to do, but not exactly in the field that I had expected. But in a way, I was content. Despite the constant complaints my colleagues had when it comes to our pay, I was happy with the work that I do. I see my friends whenever I have the chance, my family is healthy, and even though I'm too busy for love, I'm happy. At least, that's what I've convinced myself to feel.

I've been in this job as a writer at a local news channel for six years, my boss told me numerous times how I'm one of his best writers in the office but I have yet to get a raise or get promoted. But I never complained. I did my job as quietly as I could, trying to avoid unnecessary attention from anyone at work. I worked quietly, diligently, for the past six years. But every time I stopped to reassess my life, I start to feel like this isn't where I'm supposed to be. That I should be doing something out there more meaningful for me. But I am a coward, I never had the guts to pack up and leave this job. I like what I do but every time I get up in the morning, it's as if what I do isn't relevant, or sometimes, I feel like it's pointless. I have to drag myself to get to work, forced myself to wear a mask each day when really, at the back of my mind, I wasn't really that happy.

"Why don't you just go look for a new job?" Jinyoung had once told me. He and I met at work. We were two totally different people but at the same time, we're quite similar. Unlike him though, I never had the courage to quit my job and look somewhere else. I knew what I had to do. I know I should be doing what my heart kept telling me to do, but to be honest, I'm not really that confident. I've told Jinyoung that several times, thankfully though, he wasn't the type to judge me based on my decisions. Somehow he knows me better than he knows myself. But whenever he praises me on something, somehow, I find it hard to believe. "Come on, Jaebum hyung. You're a great writer. I'm sure tons of employers out there would be more than happy to have you work for them." He said, as we both drown ourselves in beer at a bar near my office. He'd usually invite me for a late dinner or a drink at a bar (or two) whenever we're both free. "I know what I'm supposed to be doing, Jinyoung. I just...don't have the guts to do it." I admitted. Honestly, he was the only one I could talk to about stuff like this without fear I'll be judged for my lack of self-esteem. "Well, I can't force you to leave your job. But you should know, hyung. People believe in you. If they weren't, they wouldn't be holding you in that job." he said as I continue to drown myself in more alcohol.

Have you ever thought what you were gonna be by the time you turn 30? I'm sure all of us have imagined it one way or another. When I was a lot younger I had ambition. I knew by the time I turned 30, I'd be married with a stable and successful job. I'd be my own boss, I'd be happy, I'd be content. I would be someone I'm proud of. Right now though, I'm almost 28. I live alone with 3 cats practically yelling at me every 10 minutes to come feed them. I went through my adult life thinking I know exactly what I'm doing and where I'm headed but somewhere along the way, I started to become unsure of my own future. I moved forward aimlessly, all the while trying to bury my dead dreams at the back of my head. But sometimes, those "dead dreams" finds their way back, creeping in and around my head, leaving me to question what have I done? What can I do to change that?

It was as if I'm stuck at today. Not literally, but I kept living my life TODAY without any preparation or any thought about what TOMORROW is. I kept focusing on the now as I watch my future look back at me, eyes filled with disappointment. But I guess, our greatest fears are always the unknown. We make decisions today that greatly affects our tomorrows. And whenever our tomorrows find themselves in a situation where they don't want to be in, they have no choice but to look back on their past selves and blame them for it. We walk around acting like we got life all figured out but then somehow ends up with more questions than answers. Some of us never got the chance to find the answers they were looking for, some find answers they were never expecting, and some won't stop until they find what it is they were searching for. I don't know how long am I gonna be stuck in this situation or if I'll ever find the guts to go out and find my own answers, but...that's all up to me now isn't it?

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is intended to seem incomplete so don't worry. And don't ask me to continue this story also. This is written for the purpose of having us look back at ourselves and reflect. Is this where I should be? Where I WANT to be? Of course, we have no clue if we're doing the right thing but at the end of the day it is US who's going to decide where to go from here. That's why I want you guys to write what happens to Jaebum at the end of the story (leave comments). You're not forced to write it, or am I pressuring you to write something good. But I want you to write what you want Jaebum to do, and in your life outside this fanfic, I want you to do it. To look life dead in the eye and tell it that you're not afraid. Because despite the decisions you have to make by yourself, FOR YOURSELF, you have to remember, NONE OF US ARE TRULY ALONE. There are so many people, be it family or friends, who are there to offer you their shoulders for you to lean on and do it. Lean on them, depend on them, seek guidance for them so that you could write your own stories. Stories that you'll be proud of, stories that you won't regret. Good luck to all of us! Cheers to me and you! <3


End file.
